Self-help resources

When you feel overwhelmed or panicky, this technique brings you back to the present moment:

1. 5 things you can see — Look around and name five things (a clock, your hands, a window).
2. 4 things you can touch — Feel the texture of your clothing, the chair beneath you, a cool surface.
3. 3 things you can hear — Traffic, birdsong, the hum of a fridge.
4. 2 things you can smell — Coffee, soap, fresh air.
5. 1 thing you can taste — A sip of water, toothpaste, a sweet.

This activates your senses and interrupts the spiral. Repeat as many times as you need.

A safety plan is something you write when you're feeling okay, so it's ready when you're not. Include:

1. Warning signs — What thoughts, feelings, or situations trigger a crisis for you?
2. Internal coping — Things you can do alone to distract or calm yourself (walk, music, breathing).
3. People to contact — Friends, family, or anyone safe to talk to. Write their names and numbers.
4. Professional help — Your GP, therapist, or crisis line numbers (Samaritans: 116 123).
5. Making your environment safe — Remove or limit access to anything you could use to harm yourself.
6. Reasons to live — People, pets, goals, experiences you're looking forward to. Write them down.

Keep your safety plan on your phone, in your wallet, or somewhere you can access quickly. The StayingSafe.net app can help you create one digitally.

From DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy), the TIP skill helps when emotions feel unbearable:

• T — Temperature: Splash ice-cold water on your face, or hold an ice cube. The cold triggers your dive reflex and slows your heart rate.
• I — Intense Exercise: Do 5-10 minutes of intense activity (star jumps, running on the spot, press-ups). Physical exertion releases built-up emotional energy.
• P — Paced Breathing: Breathe in for 4 counts, out for 6-8 counts. The longer exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system.

These work because they change your body's physiological state, which in turn changes how you feel emotionally.

Suicidal urges, like all intense emotions, come in waves. They peak and they pass. This technique helps you wait through the wave:

1. Notice the urge — Acknowledge it without acting on it. "I'm having the thought that..."
2. Rate it — On a scale of 1-10, how intense is it right now?
3. Observe it — Where do you feel it in your body? Chest? Stomach? Throat?
4. Breathe through it — Slow breaths. The wave will crest and begin to fall.
5. Wait 15 minutes — Commit to waiting just 15 minutes before making any decision. Then reassess.

Most crisis moments last 15-45 minutes. If you can ride through, the intensity will reduce. Call Samaritans on 116 123 while you wait.

Depression kills motivation. Behavioural activation works by doing the opposite: acting first, waiting for motivation to follow.

1. Rate your mood out of 10 right now.
2. Pick one tiny activity — something achievable even on your worst day. Examples: open the curtains, make a cup of tea, step outside for 30 seconds.
3. Do it without judging it. The goal isn't to "fix" your mood. It's to break inertia.
4. Rate your mood again. Even a 0.5-point increase is a win.
5. Build slowly. Tomorrow, add one more small thing. A short walk. Texting a friend. Cooking a simple meal.

Research shows that activity precedes motivation, not the other way round. You don't need to feel like doing it — you just need to do it.

When getting out of bed feels impossible, commit to just three things:

1. 3 minutes of gentle movement — Stretching in bed counts. Rolling your shoulders. Wiggling your toes.
2. 3 sips of water — Keep water by your bed. Dehydration worsens fatigue and brain fog.
3. 3 deep breaths by a window — Natural light resets your circadian rhythm and signals your brain to wake up.

That's it. If you do nothing else, you've done enough. Many people find that once they've completed the 3-3-3, they naturally do a bit more.

Depression distorts thinking. A thought record helps you challenge negative thoughts by writing them down:

1. Situation: What happened? (e.g., "Friend cancelled plans")
2. Thought: What went through your mind? (e.g., "Nobody actually wants to spend time with me")
3. Emotion: What did you feel? Rate intensity 0-100. (e.g., "Sad — 80")
4. Evidence for: What supports this thought? (e.g., "They cancelled last time too")
5. Evidence against: What contradicts it? (e.g., "They suggested rescheduling", "Other friends texted this week")
6. Balanced thought: A more realistic view. (e.g., "They're busy, not avoiding me")
7. Emotion now: Rate again. (e.g., "Sad — 45")

You won't always believe the balanced thought immediately. That's normal. The exercise trains your brain to notice alternatives over time.

Track what you do and how it makes you feel. For each activity, rate it on two scales:

• Pleasure (P): How enjoyable was it? (0-10)
• Mastery (M): How much achievement did you feel? (0-10)

After a week, patterns emerge. You'll see which activities genuinely lift your mood (even slightly) and which ones drain you. Schedule more of the high-P and high-M activities. Even on bad days, a low-effort activity that scores P:3, M:2 is better than staying in bed (which often scores P:1, M:0).

When you feel a craving or your mood drops, run through HALT:

• H — Hungry? Low blood sugar increases cravings and irritability. Eat something, even if small.
• A — Angry? Unprocessed anger is a major relapse trigger. Name the emotion. Write it down or talk to someone.
• L — Lonely? Isolation feeds addiction. Text someone, go to a meeting, visit a public space.
• T — Tired? Fatigue weakens willpower. Rest when you can. If you can't sleep, rest your body anyway.

Most cravings have a basic unmet need underneath them. Meeting that need often reduces the craving without you having to fight it directly.

Cravings are intense but temporary. Most peak within 15-20 minutes, then fade. The 10-minute rule helps you wait through them:

1. Notice the craving — "I'm having a craving right now." Don't fight it, just observe.
2. Set a 10-minute timer. Tell yourself: "I'll decide after 10 minutes."
3. Do something with your hands — Wash dishes, squeeze an ice cube, doodle, text a friend.
4. When the timer ends, reassess. The intensity is usually lower. Set another 10 minutes if needed.

Every time you ride out a craving, you prove to yourself you can. That builds confidence for the next one.

A recovery toolbox is a personalised collection of things that help you stay well. Keep it visible or accessible on your phone:

• Emergency contacts: 3 people you can call when struggling (sponsor, friend, helpline).
• Distraction activities: A walk, a podcast, cooking, gaming — things that occupy your mind.
• Reminder list: Why you decided to recover. Consequences of relapse. Goals you're working toward.
• Self-soothing items: A playlist, a comforting drink, a favourite blanket, a scent you like.
• Meeting schedule: Know when and where your next support group meets (SMART Recovery, AA/NA, GamCare).

The best time to build your toolbox is when you're feeling strong. Then it's ready when you're not.

Used by Navy SEALs and recommended by the NHS. This technique calms your nervous system in under 2 minutes:

1. Breathe in for 4 seconds through your nose.
2. Hold for 4 seconds.
3. Breathe out for 4 seconds through your mouth.
4. Hold for 4 seconds.
5. Repeat 4 times.

Your heart rate will slow within the first cycle. By the fourth, most people feel noticeably calmer. Use it before meetings, exams, difficult conversations, or whenever anxiety spikes.

Anxious minds run a 24/7 worry cycle. The worry window contains it to a set time:

1. Set a daily "worry time" — 15-20 minutes, same time each day (e.g., 6pm). Not before bed.
2. During the day, when a worry pops up, write it down on a list. Tell yourself: "I'll deal with this at 6pm."
3. At your worry time, review the list. For each item, ask:
   • Is this something I can actually control?
   • If yes: write one concrete action step.
   • If no: cross it out. Let it go.
4. When time's up, stop. Close the list until tomorrow.

Most people find that by the time their worry window arrives, half the worries have already resolved or feel less urgent.

Evidence-based actions recommended by the NHS and New Economics Foundation. Doing even one each day makes a measurable difference:

• Connect — Talk to someone. A text counts. A brief chat with a neighbour counts. Human connection is protective.
• Be Active — Move your body. A 10-minute walk is enough. You don't need a gym. Movement directly reduces cortisol.
• Take Notice — Pay attention to the present moment. Notice the sky, your food, how your body feels. This is informal mindfulness.
• Keep Learning — Try something new. Read an article. Watch a tutorial. Learning stimulates dopamine and builds self-efficacy.
• Give — Do something for someone else. Hold a door. Send an encouraging message. Helping others improves your own wellbeing.

You don't need to do all five every day. Pick one. The consistency matters more than the intensity.

Anxiety stores tension in your body. This technique releases it systematically, working from your toes to your head:

1. Sit or lie comfortably. Close your eyes if you like.
2. Toes & feet: Curl your toes tightly for 5 seconds. Release. Notice the difference.
3. Calves: Tense for 5 seconds. Release.
4. Thighs: Tense for 5 seconds. Release.
5. Stomach: Tighten your abs for 5 seconds. Release.
6. Hands: Make fists for 5 seconds. Release.
7. Arms & shoulders: Shrug shoulders to your ears. Hold 5 seconds. Release.
8. Face: Scrunch your entire face. Hold 5 seconds. Release.

The contrast between tension and release teaches your body what relaxation actually feels like. Takes about 10 minutes. Free NHS audio guides are available on the Every Mind Matters website.